Jul. 10th, 2023

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I don't have enough to say about the books and movies to warrant separate posts, but here are some quick thoughts. First, I read Measuring Up by Lily LaMotte and Ann Xu. It's a middle-grade graphic novel about a young girl named Cici who moves to Seattle from Taiwan. While Cici adjusts pretty well to her new life, she misses her A-Ma (grandmother) very much. She comes across a kid cooking contest and decides to enter so she can use the prize money to help her grandmother come over to visit. It's a sweet story. I picked it up from a table at Barnes and Noble, and I think it will be a good fit for my classroom library.

Next, I read Last Violent Call by Chloe Gong. This book is actually two novellas set in the Secret Shanghai world of Foul Lady Fortune, and while it does actually serve as a bridge between the previous novels and the final book, it feels more like fanfiction of missing scenes, and I enjoyed dipping back into the world, especially the second story, which is a Murder on the Orient Express-esque story featuring Benedikt and Marshall. I love their dynamic and was happy to spend time with them.

And now, the movies. If you haven't heard of Nimona, I don't know why you're even reading my blog, because it seems like everyone in my circle is at least familiar with the graphic novel by ND Stevenson. I canceled my Netflix before the movie was announced, but thankfully my mom still has her subscription. I got a few hours to myself (Mom had gone to pick up my wayward brother from the airport, which is a whole thing and I'm mad about it and trying to also be a grownup) and sat down with some takeout to watch it. If you're able to watch it, you really should. I even tapped that double thumbs-up icon for it.

Finally, my bestie and I went to see Joy Ride which is a Hangover-esque raunchy comedy. Normally, this is not my style of movie at all, but the movie is set partly in China, has four Asian-American female leads (including Stephanie Hsu from Everything Everywhere All at Once), and I really wanted to put my money into supporting women and POC creators. If you've seen the short video going around of Chinese parents bringing their daughter two a playground and the parents are approached by a white couple who want to know if the kid would like to play with their daughter, and the kids play and when one of the other kids on the playground says something racist, the new girl says, "Fuck you!" and punches the kid -- that's the opening scene from this movie! Anyway, even though the raunchy and gross-out comedy really isn't my thing as a rule, I did enjoy it. It was a nice escape for a few hours. And of course, afterward, Erin and I went for coffee and broke it down. Besides being a fun movie with jokes I found genuinely funny as well as some moving scenes as the main character, Audrey, grapples with her identity, I find watching movies like this, especially movies with female leads where I don't have to "suffer" through a lot of the misogyny or racism in movies like The Hangover gives me some space to examine a lot of my instinctive pearl-clutching reactions to things like the explicit and "crude" sexual content. It gets easier to remember the distinction between saying something is "not for me" versus "no one should see this!"
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So like, social media is just not very good for me. I’m not able to just dip in now and again and feel good about it. As I’ve probably noted before, one of my issues is that I have an over-inflated sense of personal responsibility (Hello, Eldest Daughter) which makes me feel like I am personally responsible for things like other people’s wellbeing or success. I’ve gotten a good handle on this in many areas of my life, like my family and teaching, but I think I’ve just tipped the anxiety into social media instead of actually excising it. For example, today, I was reading a post on Tumblr about things they want to do going forward, with implications for possible changes, and the commentary (in reblogs, because they turned off comments, natch) make me feel like they’re trying to tip over into Instagram and TikTok territory, which I do NOT want. I really only want to see what people I follow (friends, really) share, at least ninety-eight percent of the time. For that other two percent, I’ll dip into the tags. I like being responsible for my own experience in that way. I even paid for ad-free Tumblr. But my experience and control isn’t a good business model. The less control I have over my experience, the more I am inclined to walk away. But then Guilt™️ pops its little head up, because if I walk away, then who will reblog my friends’ art? Who will share their stories? Will they no longer be able to make a living off their art?

Well, if enough people walk away, then yeah. Their living will be imperiled. But also, I am not responsible (by myself) for that, especially not at the expense of my own wellbeing.

IDK, I’m not jumping ship just yet, but I feel the time is coming when I will, and it feels like it’s coming pretty soon.

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