wrote_and_writ

Well. I’m hitting a bit of a slump, and many of the contributing factors, such as general world rot and unseasonably cool temps, are things I cannot actually do anything about, so I will acknowledge the general uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh of things and move on.

One of the victims of the UGH is, unfortunately, any desire to engage in fannish things. I’m still writing, because I’m determined to meet my GYWO goal and because I have mostly enjoyed writing, although I’m considering dropping out next year and finding a different year-long project. (Realistically, I’ll try and finish my 2021 cross stitch trackers AND the calendar SAL I started in 2018.) But for now, I’ve just been swimming in fluffy family feelings for my modern MingCheng + Jingyi AU. And also, holy moly, I would like to thank the Universe for one Jiang Wanyin. Fandom hasn’t been a part of my life for very long, compared to many of my friends. I was never very mono-fannish once I started, either, but I suspect that as long as I’m even remotely interested in transformative fandom, for however long that lasts, Jiang Cheng will be with me. And that’s kind of neat.

But this week’s snippet is Nie Mingjue-centric. (Wow, those Jiang and Nie boys are just my jam.) I’s up on AO3 if you’re interested.

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“Aw yiss,” Mingjue says, shaking the pan gently as the first kernels of popcorn pop. Once the kernels have all popped, he sets the lid aside to let some of the steam out as he adds paprika, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and a few dashes of Tabasco to the melted butter, gives it a good stir to evenly distribute the spices, and drizzles the mixture over the popcorn. He replaces the lid and gives the whole thing a good shake to coat the popcorn, removes the lid, and inhales the fragrant steam with deep satisfaction.

“Yes, yes, that is the good stuff!”

He dumps the popcorn into the specially decorated Da-ge’s Snax bowl that Huaisang had given him for his last birthday, grabs a few napkins, a couple cans of his favorite ginger ale, and does a little happy dance as he makes his way to the living room.

It has come to my attention that the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, and I think that’s some kind of bullshit.

Okay, all things considered, I’m pretty glad to be alive. I’m about as safe as anyone. I have a nice cozy apartment (currently with no WiFi, which is supposed to be included in rent, but the landlord hasn’t paid, so I can’t watch Shrek again on nflx until he does, which will be ??? because I have to text Anna, our Fixer, who gets in touch with the landlord, so I’m at a cafe and ANYWAY). I have food and money. I am Okay For Now.

The US has made good on its threat to block the sale of direct flights between BLR and USA, which doesn’t impact me at this moment, but it will come summer when I get to go home. I did notice on the Turkish Airlines website (TA being the only major airline currently flying in and out of BLR) they had a message to contact customer service for customers needing repatriation. So I really, really need to get a transfer or work for a different school next year, because I do not want to have to deal with this. I saw a post on FB that said something like “It’s okay to be sad about the right decision,” and I feel that. Given my choices, it was the best option to return to this job. I just really, really want something else.

I had a cab driver the other day who spoke very good English and struck up conversation. Normally, I am happy to just not talk, but he was nice. He asked me what I thought about Minsk, and truthfully, it’s a nice city. It’s easy to get around. For me, the cost of living is very good, especially since my job also includes a housing stipend. I’m damn lucky. But the psychic weight of covid and political instability is heavy, and if I can divest myself of it sooner rather than later, I will.

Also, this dude put on Green Day’s “Troubled Times” and it felt like a test? I was singing along because I fucking love Green Day, and the driver said I had a nice voice.

As far as covid is concerned, it’s not … terrible? But it doesn’t seem to be getting better. The only data I have access to is the daily government figures for new cases, recoveries (and idk how that is measured) and deaths, and the numbers have been the essentially the same since I got here last September. I take it with a huge grain of salt because to be frank, I don’t really trust ANY government’s reporting to be accurate, whether the numbers are deliberately manipulated for whatever end. Like in the US, you see different places choose not test if it looks like someone has covid. On top of that, whatever stats are presented are often done without context, so even if you can parse statistics, it’s still a gamble.

All this is to say the Eternal Shrieking goes on, but school starts in just under two weeks, so at least I’ll have that to focus on.

Writing continues to be a good escape. I actually have missed two days since April (both the end of long travel days, so it’s understandable). I often feel like stopping, but I don’t want to lose the momentum, so I manage to at least get a few lines out a day. This week’s snippet is from the sparsest of WIPs. In fact, this is pretty much all I have of the story at the moment. It’s a modern AU, in the world of my fic Take My Hand and Set Me Free. I don’t know if or when I’ll finish it. It’s gonna have some Angsty Feelings, and I might need to just bury myself in fluff to get through, but who knows?

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Get up and go. Easy to say, but tonight, it’s surprisingly hard to do. Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen left hours ago, but Jiang Cheng cannot make himself get up from the table in the back corner of the dark little bar where they’d toasted their victory in clearing out a nest of vicious shanxiao.

He should just go h— not home. He’s still not sure where home is. The house he’s renting for the autumn is cozy, though, and he should go there. He should make himself some tea, maybe read a bit of the book Xingchen left for him. Or sleep. He hasn’t managed to get much of that lately. The thing is, as much as he likes the little house, he’s tired of going back alone. But he’s not planning on being alone much longer.

Okay okay okay! I leave in one week to return to Minsk for the 2021-2022 school year, which I hope is my last year there. I can put in for a transfer to another school within our system, and I am also going to sign up with a placement company (I need to do that THIS WEEK! I have been putting it off!) that helps me find jobs outside of the QSI system. It’s not that I’m super unhappy with QSI per se, but the places where they have schools are limited and often places other international schools won’t be (such as Belarus), and it turns out, those places are pretty stressful to live! Like I would never go live in Timor Leste. Kyiv seems like it’s pushing it, but I have a lot of friends who work at that school.

ANYWAY!

At the moment, I’m marginally less stressed than I was a few days ago. I started packing and weeding things out. For example, one of my cute dresses has acquired a grease stain right on the bodice, so if I can’t get it out, I’ll leave it here as part of my emergency wardrobe (if I make it home some day but my luggage doesn’t) which is mostly things that are fine but not great, or not good enough for the thrift store. I’m so grateful my mom lets me store things here that I’m still not ready to part with (childhood books, etc) but don’t want to haul around the world. I am bringing quite a few books with me, but most of them will be read and then left behind for my classroom library. I’m also bringing food things with me that I couldn’t find in Minsk. In the US, you can easily find all the basic ingredients for baking right in the supermarket, but in Minsk, things like vanilla extract and baking powder and chocolate chips are in speciality baking stores, and I never managed to find one. To be fair, I didn’t look too hard. But I didn’t have an oven in China so I got out of the habit of baking. I have a small oven in Minsk, so I plan to make some cookies and brownies from time to time. I’m also bringing taco seasoning and favorite candies, like Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups. The PB and chocolate combo doesn’t seem to have caught on around the world, so I always bring some of those with me. I think I need to buy a new suitcase, a slightly bigger one, and I may still have to leave a few of the books home for next time, but that’s okay. (And yes, I do have a kindle, but it’s hard to get current English-language books in country or sent to Belarus, so it’s nice to build up my classroom library or donate contemporary YA to the school library.)

As it is August 1st, it’s time to update my GYWO goal. I’ve managed to keep up writing every day, so I’m at 168 days of writing, so close to my 240 day goal! If I can keep writing a little something every day, I’ll meet my goal in October! Yay me!

Now for this week’s snippet. It’s another CQL fic — CQL has become my fan life. As I write this, I have 150 CQL fics on AO3! The second place belongs to Guardian, of which I have only 39 fics. 😬 That Jiang Cheng, man. He knocked me over! I think I’ve said before that I wasn’t into transformative fandom until 2014. It just wasn’t something I was aware that I could do, nor was it something I wanted to do until then. Plus other reasons that I’m still working out. Anyway, I’m happily swimming around in it now. This is my piece for the Summer 2021 Writing Challenge Week 6. I hope you like it!

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Jiang Cheng stops and waits for Huaisang to catch up with him. “Foolish. As if we’d be allowed out of Yunmeng with anything less than full packs and half a dozen disciples following us, ‘just to be sure, Sect Leader, that you’re safe.’” He holds out a hand, and Huaisang takes it readily. Jiang Cheng hopes the thrill he feels with Huaisang’s easy affection never fades.

“Mmm, you’re probably right,” Huaisang says. He pauses, trying to decide the best way to get more snacks without letting go of Jiang Cheng’s hand. Jiang Cheng plucks a slice from the bag when Huaisang waves it at him. “Nie disciples, too. And your sister would commandeer a few Jins as well.” He opens his mouth, and Jiang Cheng obediently holds out the apple. Huaisang chews thoughtfully. “You’ve been planning this for some time,” he goes on after swallowing, “because you’d be too stressed about the work you’re leaving behind for this to be an impromptu walk.”

Woof. Just had a terrible family dinner, but at least it wasn’t because the fam was terrible. I took my mom, brother, sister-in-law and niblings out to a local pizza restaurant. It’s not the best restaurant, but I was feeling nostalgic. The last time I had been, the pizza was decent. Well, tonight was awful. The service was the worst I’ve experienced at any restaurant in a long time. The set up of this restaurant is that you pay a flat fee and then servers bring pizzas around, and tonight they just kept skipping us. At one point, there were only 3 tables full of people, including us. There was only one server working, and she looked like she was about 17, so I wasn’t gonna yell at her. But still. Then, my niece decided she was full and turned to her new favorite activity, which is throwing everything on the floor, including her dad’s full plate of salad and her own plate of food! She’s a quick little gremlin! The nephew had a full on meltdown when it was time to go. He has a hard time leaving places in general, and all in all, the evening was a disappointment. (I texted SIL and she said Nephew fought going to bed because his Auntie Deb needed a kiss and he could only wash his hands with my soap — I let him use some hand sanitizer in a bid to distract him from screaming — oops.) I felt really bad for my brother and sister-in-law because I just wanted us to have a nice, low key time. Oh well. SIL said, of the kids, this is just part of life now, but it’s not forever. And it’s not the end of the world, although it is the end of our patronage of that restaurant.

I only have a few weeks left at home before heading back to Minsk. We got word that quarantine times for travelers coming from “red zone” countries have been reduced and we don’t have to quarantine if we’re fully vaccinated, regardless of where we’re coming from. When I booked my tickets back in May, I added extra time to account for a longer quarantine, and now that I’m won’t have to, I’m tempted to change my flights and get more time at home. But things change so quickly that I decided to keep my original flight. I’ll use the time to sleep in, maybe wander over to the school to work in my classroom for a few hours a day, slowly getting ready for next year. I can spend the mornings writing and reading, maybe go to the parks during the week when they’ll be less busy. I didn’t make it to the botanical gardens in the spring, so maybe I’ll wander over there.

I’m still keeping my writing pace of writing something every day, though a few times this week, I only managed a paragraph or two. Here’s a snippet from the story I wrote for this week’s Summer Writing Challenge entry. It focuses on the Juniors in my modern cultivators AU. I’m really enjoying spending time in that world. I hope you enjoy it, too.

“I would like to go on record and say this is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had,” Lan Jingyi declares, “and that’s saying something.” He shoulders his backpack and snags a sleeping bag from the pile behind Suburban.

“Including the time we all bleached our hair?” Ouyang Zizhen asks with easy humor. “Because that was pretty bad.”

“I think if we hadn’t bleached our eyebrows as well, it would have been okay,” Lan Sizhui says. He hands his cousin a heavy flashlight. “Hold onto this, Jingyi. You can use it to bash any fierce corpses or monsters that come our way.”

I loathe the Fourth of July (and surrounding days). Aside from the jack-booted nationalism-slash-Red Solo Cup partying, I fucking hate fireworks. It terrifies the wildlife (and my dog Ginger in particular) and humans with PTSD (who are often veterans we’re supposed to be “honoring” while doing nothing practical to help people who were sucked into the military and managed to survive long enough to get out). We live in a freaking desert and it’s hot and fireworks cause so many wildfires. I’ve watched a house burn down. This was not due to fireworks, but the image and sounds will never leave me. I have watched house catch fire due to fireworks, so the memory of the destroyed house plus the explosions going off at all hours, for weeks, makes me extra grumpy and anxious and tired.

So. Grumpiness aside (as I’m safely in an air conditioned Starbucks with room to generally avoid the public while I type and drink my vanilla latte), it is good to be home. It’s hot. Not above normal desert summer temps, but they have definitely arrived earlier than what used to be normal (I’m pretty sure what we have going on now is normal because corporations want to wring every last cent from the world as it burns). Ugh, I’m getting grumpy again, with the danger of slipping into helpless fury, SO! Let’s look at what’s going well! I’ve been reading more than fic. This is very much not knocking fic. I’ve read some incredible fic lately, like this delightful SNL/CQL fic. But original fic shakes up my brain a bit because I tend to read a lot of the same style fic, for comfort. Although technically the book that I’m reading, These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong, is fic because it’s a re-imagining of Romeo and Juliet set in 1920’s Shanghai. But it is awesome! It takes the frame, adds some supernatural (possibly? Maybe sci fi is more accurate, but I haven’t gotten to the Big Reveal yet so it’s hard to say), and lots of historical detail. I imaging Juliette Cai and Qin Xiaoman from Detective L would get along really well.

I’m still writing every day! Cat’s summer writing challenge has been super helpful because I have found I get bored/overwhelmed when I fully try and create a whole story, fic or otherwise, from scratch. Maybe I should just get prompts for original fic, or let people see my WIPs and notes and pick a plot direction from there. Someday.

Anyway, here’s a bit of the fic I’m working on for this week. I posted the fic
(...And Jingyi Makes Three? ) that last week’s snippet came from. This week’s snippet is from an upcoming entry in the summer writing challenge. I hope you like it, and I hope you have a good week!

“You’ve gotta be still, A-Sang,” Jiang Cheng says. He swallows hard, desperate to keep his voice calm. He wants to shake Huaisang, and yell at him for being a complete idiot, jumping between him and the fierce corpse they were tracking in an old warehouse south of town. He had Zidian out and ready to take the thing down, and Huaisang, noble, stupid Huaisang just … he just got in there! And got himself slashed across the chest! In an abandoned warehouse! In the middle of a blackout!

Life continues. School is finally out for the year, and now I just have to kill a few days until I can fly home! I have a covid test on Monday (yay — not) and I’m really just so ready! I always waffle on how soon after the school year I should leave. Some of my coworkers left yesterday evening. We had a half-day for staff. I decided to wait a few days so I could get my covid test and have a bit of time to leisurely clean up my apartment, but I video-chatted with my mom and nephew on Friday, and oh, I wish I had booked an earlier flight! Oh well. Nothing I can do now but wait.

In the meantime, I’ll poke around at cafes, slowly finish packing and cleaning, and work on my Lan Qiren Week fic. It’s a completely indulgent modern slice of life, probably OOC, but whatever. It’s words on the page, and it’s a challenge to write from a character that I don’t fully connect to, despite a lot of similarities I can make between myself and the Venerable Shufu.

Here’s a snippet from the first chapter. I’m using the daily prompts as chapter titles, and today’s chapter is “Father’s Day” (and oh, I am resolutely not thinking about my dad or missing him looooool).

Lan Qiren starts keeping a diary when his sister-in-law falls ill. At first, it is a record of the things he did with his nephews— meals, homework, notes about their general health and well-being. He wants proof, he supposes, something to show her how he has taken care of her boys while she was away. His brother is useless in this, as he is in most things, though Lan Qiren tries not to let the bitterness he feels color the narrative he is drafting. When his— when she returns to her sons, he wants there to be nothing to cause her further grief.

Oh hey! After this week, there are only two more Sundays until I get to go home! And that second Sunday is the start of a Lan Qiren Week (June 20-26), which is great because Shufu needs some love, IMO. Given —waves hand vaguely— Everything, this fic is probably going to be a bit more melancholy than I normally write. It starts on Father’s Day, which is always a bit rough and probably will be until I’m gone myself. It’s also my usual slice of life rather than plotty, although I am still tempted to write a Sassy Uncle AU (think Captain Holt of Brooklyn 99, when he and Jake have to go into witness protection in Florida, and Holt becomes friends with the neighborhood power walker ladies). Someday.

This story, however, is a modern AU set in a fictionalized version of Shenzhen. In this snippet, bby! Lan Zhan meets the nice family ayi for the first time, and Lan Qiren probably (definitely) needs to give her a raise.

Though he is loath to shirk any responsibilities relating to his nephews, Lan Qiren engages an ayi, a woman near his own age named Fong, who will pick the boys up from school and care for them until he returns from work at six. Lan Zhan bites her the first time she comes over, and Lan Qiren tenses, waiting for her reaction.

“Aiya,” she says softly, crouching down to his level, “Little Bun needs something to nibble?” She takes him into the kitchen, pulls out a stool, and shows him how to clean and peel carrots while she slices an apple and peels away the skin so it looks like a little rabbit.

Well. I had all kinds of plans and good intentions to go out, try a new cafe, and write. I made it downstairs and it is cold AND raining AND windy. Come on, Minsk, that’s just greedy! Pick two! We don’t really need this gusting wind, do we?

Siiiiiiiiiigh.

So I dashed across the street to the store to get milk, came back to my apartment, made coffee, and wrote. Yay. 😑

Okay, I don’t mind the writing part. There’s a XiCheng thing going on this week, and I decided to dust off the notes I made last summer about a modern musicians AU in which Jiang Cheng plays viola in the Lotus String Trio and Lan Xichen is a pianist. Due to Reasons, the trio retires and Xichen needs a new gig, so he accepts a job to be an accompanist for Jiang Cheng as he records an album. Am I using this to also vent some of my feelings about violas being the afterthought of the orchestra world, in conjunction with the way Jiang Cheng often feels like the afterthought in his family? Mayyybe. Am I making a playlist in order to coax my dear readers into a greater appreciation of the wonderful and melodious viola? Absolutely. I also really miss playing in an orchestra and I miss my viola even though I’m not very good at it. Well, I’m well out of practice.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall. I mean, here’s my snippet for today.

Wei Ying is late, as usual, but today, Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind. He sets up his stand under the south facing window in their practice space, basking as the late spring sun filters through. He adjusts the height of the stand so the shadow from his head doesn’t cover the score he places on the stand. He grabs a couple mechanical pencils from his viola case and clips them to the lip of the tray. He takes his bow, rosin, and a soft cloth from the case next. He cleans the accumulated rosin dust from the stick and grip each day before he puts it away, but he always gives it a quick polish when he takes it out each morning. He tightens the hairs and gives them a good coating of rosin. When he’s done, he sets the bow on the lip of the tray and takes out his viola.

The weather was pretty nice today! I think it might finally be turning into spring here. And there are only six Sundays left until summer vacation!!!!! Hoooooraaaaaaaay!!!!! I’m so ready to be done. Well, emotionally, anyway.

I’m still eking out a few stories and scenes, getting back into the habit. I’m not sure I’ll be able to actually write a story for a SangCheng week that’s coming up. I’ve got it generally outlined, but it’s a lot to write on top of finishing work. But I’ll hope for the best.

But. Here is a snippet from the most recent story I posted, a fill from the Hugs Prompt list and also part of the modern tattoo AU.

”My sweet, noble A-Cheng.” Huaisang kisses him. “If only it were that easy.” He rests his chin on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “When I was about seven, I came home from school, and my mom was sitting on the balcony of our apartment, crying.”

(The story has a pretty happy ending, don’t worry.)

Well hello there. Things are still A Lot, and writing is still harder than herding cats, but thanks to a nice person declaring a Nie Mingjue week a couple weeks ago, I’ve gotten a few words on the page. I’m still behind pace on GYWO, but the deficit isn’t as bad as it was.

The NMJ week inspired me to write some stories about NMJ’s relationships with Huaisang and Xichen in my Modern Tattoo Artist JC universe, and then I was inspired to go back to an old WIP, which I posted yesterday and which features some Huaisang and Yanli bonding.

Spring Break is finally here, so I’m hoping to get ahead on a new story for SangCheng week, but really, I’m just hoping to survive until summer vacation. Until then, I hope you’ll check out my fic offerings for the last couple weeks.

Huaisang surveys the sparse offerings of the kitchen cupboards. He even drags out the stepladder he keeps tucked up against the washing machine so he can really get a good look in the back and the corners, but aside from the nearly empty bottle of crushed red pepper flakes, he has precisely none of the ingredients to make a reasonable meal. He kicks the stool, stomps to the living room, and flops on the sofa with a dramatic sigh.