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Deb: An Unexpected Journey
Jan. 29th, 2020 09:28 pmI’m not a huge Tolkien fan, but I definitely relate to the hobbit way of life. I like things cozy. I like friends and family and chill evenings at a pub. I like a little excitement now and then, but as someone who is built like a baozi (filled with spicy steamed anxiety), too much of the unexpected leaves me feeling wobbly. So this whole coronavirus thing has been a challenge.
I went to Japan for the Lunar New Year break, and while I was there, I got word that our school will be closed for at least two weeks past the break and I would have to teach online. Tough, as I had already prepped to do a novel unit and the kids don’t have the books, but I’ve been teaching long enough that I managed to put together a respectable research unit that the kids can do independently. I checked my budget, called my mom, and figured I could afford to stay in Japan longer. Yay Japan! The weather is nice and cool, and I got to play in the snow yesterday, which made me very happy. But underneath it, still, anxiety.
One of the good things about my anxious, nonstop brain is that I take in information very quickly and can generally process it thoroughly. It doesn’t make the jitters go away, but it makes them move. Kind of like trying to squash one of those spiders that can jump away. If you don’t thoroughly stomp on it the first time, it skitters away and you have the fun game of finding it again. I spent time today reading and writing, bought some lemon-ginger bath salts and took a nice soak, and as I did, I cornered the Brain Spider. What really freaks me out right now is this: for the first time in like four years, I don’t know what I’ll be doing for more than two weeks out. Of course, life can always change in an instant, but in general, I have an idea of what I will be doing for at least a year out. The last time this happened was when I didn’t get hired back at the school in McMinnville, Oregon, and had no job, and for like a month did t know where I would be working or living. Aside from knowing I could go home if I needed to (and I did). And while I know I can get help with money if I lose my job, the uncertainty is really making me frantic. I do not like it.
Catching a glimpse of this particular brain spider is helping a lot. I didn’t manage to squish it, but I think I’ve at least got it shut up in a box for now. In the meantime, I’m going to really work on helping my kids with their writing, work on my own writing, explore some cool stuff in Osaka and Kyoto, and try to breathe.
All while wearing a super sexy surgical mask. HOTTT!
I went to Japan for the Lunar New Year break, and while I was there, I got word that our school will be closed for at least two weeks past the break and I would have to teach online. Tough, as I had already prepped to do a novel unit and the kids don’t have the books, but I’ve been teaching long enough that I managed to put together a respectable research unit that the kids can do independently. I checked my budget, called my mom, and figured I could afford to stay in Japan longer. Yay Japan! The weather is nice and cool, and I got to play in the snow yesterday, which made me very happy. But underneath it, still, anxiety.
One of the good things about my anxious, nonstop brain is that I take in information very quickly and can generally process it thoroughly. It doesn’t make the jitters go away, but it makes them move. Kind of like trying to squash one of those spiders that can jump away. If you don’t thoroughly stomp on it the first time, it skitters away and you have the fun game of finding it again. I spent time today reading and writing, bought some lemon-ginger bath salts and took a nice soak, and as I did, I cornered the Brain Spider. What really freaks me out right now is this: for the first time in like four years, I don’t know what I’ll be doing for more than two weeks out. Of course, life can always change in an instant, but in general, I have an idea of what I will be doing for at least a year out. The last time this happened was when I didn’t get hired back at the school in McMinnville, Oregon, and had no job, and for like a month did t know where I would be working or living. Aside from knowing I could go home if I needed to (and I did). And while I know I can get help with money if I lose my job, the uncertainty is really making me frantic. I do not like it.
Catching a glimpse of this particular brain spider is helping a lot. I didn’t manage to squish it, but I think I’ve at least got it shut up in a box for now. In the meantime, I’m going to really work on helping my kids with their writing, work on my own writing, explore some cool stuff in Osaka and Kyoto, and try to breathe.
All while wearing a super sexy surgical mask. HOTTT!
