Teaching Diary 25: Leaving Teaching

I'm not leaving teaching yet. I still find immense satisfaction in the actual teaching part of the job. I think if I were still in the US, I'd probably be approaching burnout much faster than I am now, due to the same reasons many of my US colleagues are burned out -- low pay, terrible admin, and lack of support. But I have been reading blogs for teachers who are transitioning out of teaching. I almost applied for one of the jobs shared on a job board for teachers. It was with Micron, which is based in my hometown. Nearly 100K a year, training people. The description stated they were looking for someone with extensive business knowledge, and I didn't feel like I have nearly enough to even "fake it til you make it" to apply. Plus, I still really love teaching.

But my current school is insanely stressful. Two of my colleagues, who have been the target of bullying and harassment by the HoS, left yesterday. Honestly, I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did. I would have quit the moment the HoS encouraged a parent to sue me for an accident that was due more to the school's negligence in supplying proper safety equipment for the science lab. Early in my career, I accidentally smacked a kid in the face with a door. A few students were out in the halls after the tardy bell, so I was going to just tell them to hustle to class, but one kid was closer to the door than I expected, and I hit him in the face. He needed stitches over his eyebrow. I freaked out, but my principal and vice principal took care of both me and the kid. The principal calmed me down. I was terrified I'd be sued and fired, but he said, "This is why schools have insurance. We'll take care of his medical bills. You'll write up a report, and if it's truly an accident, which it sounds like, you'll be fine. If his mom is angry, we'll talk to her for you." And they did. And it was all fine. Not so with this school.

So I am fully supportive of my coworker's exit, even though it does put some strain on us because the school has no system of getting subs aside from "it's your responsibility to get coverage for your own shifts." Which is utter bullshit. It should be the school's responsibility to have a sub list. So a few of my coworkers are understandably grumpy with the colleagues who left, wondering why they couldn't stick it out for two more weeks. I am sympathetic to both sides, but also, I see very clearly how the compassion many teachers have for their students is weaponized against us. The HoS has said, on more than one occasion, that we simply don't care about the students when we ask for things like more help with supervision or coverage so we can have prep time (this is more of an issue in the elementary school right now). If we complain, we're not protecting the kids. It's never the admin's responsibility to make sure things are properly staffed and supplied. It's unbelievably toxic. The only reason I'm not breaking my contract after this year is because I don't want to take the risk of having it reflect badly on me. My friend at another international school has shared a little bit about the utter shit show going on there, and I see what is happening in the US, so it's not like this is an isolated horrible school. I don't have a better option at the moment. (I also don't have a home to go back to long term right now.)

Anyway, my stomach hurts, but I think I can hide out in my classroom for the next few weeks, and then I'll have a lovely summer vacation.