May. 27th, 2023

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I picked up this memoir last month after coming across it on a list of books by Taiwanese and Taiwanese-diaspora authors as I looked for things to add to a summer reading list for students. Here is a synopsis:


A chance discovery of letters written by her immigrant grandfather leads Jessica J. Lee to her ancestral homeland, Taiwan. There, she seeks his story while growing closer to the land he knew.



Lee hikes mountains home to Formosan flamecrests, birds found nowhere else on earth, and swims in a lake of drowned cedars. She bikes flatlands where spoonbills alight by fish farms, and learns about a tree whose fruit can float in the ocean for years, awaiting landfall. Throughout, Lee unearths surprising parallels between the natural and human stories that have shaped her family and their beloved island. Joyously attentive to the natural world, Lee also turns a critical gaze upon colonialist explorers who mapped the land and named plants, relying on and often effacing the labor and knowledge of local communities.



Two Trees Make a Forest is a genre–shattering book encompassing history, travel, nature, and memoir, an extraordinary narrative showing how geographical forces are interlaced with our family stories.



I disagree with the description that this book is “joyously attentive.” I felt pretty sad by the time I finished reading. I thought the overall narrative was very thin, but that is due in large part because Lee is unable to really solve any mystery from this letter and mystery of her family’s past simply because not much is left behind. Her grandmother fled her home in Nanjing during World War II, after experiencing and surviving some of the horrors that occurred there (her grandmother never really said much, understandably, and while I know the general shape of the atrocities, I don’t think I’m strong enough to bear proper witness to it and read any sort of detailed accounting). Her grandfather had Alzheimer’s and couldn’t ultimately say much about his life before he died.


I don’t think the scarcity in the personal narrative makes this book any less. From my own experiences of delving into my family’s history, I feel like this is a very honest narrative. I didn’t get a sense of this being a “beloved” island because I didn’t really get a sense of who her grandparents were, and I think that is also a reflection of how narratively unsatisfactory it can be to write about a real person’s life, especially a person who’s life is uprooted by war and circumstance many times. Maybe this is my bias as a Western reader and based on the memoirs I’ve read in the past, memoirs that come with a neater arc. One of the last units we did in expository writing this year was writing personal narratives. As examples, we read selections from Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner and Born a Crime by Trevor Noah, and the structure of those narratives had a much more familiar fullness than this book.


All that being said, I’m grateful to have read it. I particularly enjoyed the sections about Taiwan itself, its natural history and colonial history. This memoir served to whet my interest in reading more history. And while I’m not an Outdoor Kid and will not be hiking the mountains that Lee hiked, I would like to go back to Tainan this winter and see if I can see the spoonbills or take some day trips and try to see some of the other birds Lee mentions. And I hope to find more books of nature writing by Taiwanese authors.


Ultimately, the memoir part was the least satisfying (although still deeply affecting as I find myself thinking about her grandparents’ lives and the choices people have to make to survive and will no doubt be thinking about it for a while yet). It reminded me of why I don’t read many memoirs anymore as a matter of personal taste. However, I am glad that I read it.

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I mean, I still have three more contract days, but I’ll just slowly clean up my desk and read a book since I’ve finished all my grades and paperwork.


Yesterday, my coworker Johan interviewed me as part of his master’s thesis work. He asked me about culturally responsive teaching and dealing with turmoil, both personal and professional, and how that might manifest in the class. I’m not sure what his whole premise is, but I’ll probably get to read it when he’s finished. Anyway, his questions got me thinking about this year as a whole, and WOOF, it was a tough one, but in a weirdly fragmented way. I think the last official week of classes is pretty emblematic of the issues, though. Students didn’t have classes, but they were expected to be at school all day, BUT there were little to no plans as to what to do with them. For Monday and Tuesday, we didn’t even really take attendance, which has GOT to be against Ministry of Ed regulations as well as a safety issue. What plans we DID have in place for Monday (we were supposed to have a student work showcase, which is a whole other nightmare) were scrapped at like 8:15 AM because the Head of School is a horrible person. I had to rejoin the staff group chat just to keep up with the changes that happened every half hour or so. Pure chaos.


One thing that was planned for this week was the school musical, a production of Guys and Dolls that was plagued with issues for the entire year. One of the biggest issues is that we don’t really have much of a music program or students who both want to perform and can actually sing. The teacher in charge suggested having more of a showcase style performance instead of a full on play, but the HoS refused to allow it, despite having a huge lack of resources and talent because this is something she could put on our school FB page and put in brochures — a few well-edited photographs to really sell the narrative that we have a great program. Honestly, this musical is a distillation of the insanity that is working at and attending PAS.

I attended the Thursday afternoon performance as a chaperone, because I sure as shit wasn’t coming back Friday evening for the performance. Once I left the school for the weekend, I was DONE. And friends. The performance was not good. Our “auditorium” isn’t really built for performances. The sound quality was so poor that I couldn’t understand what the actors were saying. The actors couldn’t really sing. So many missed notes. However, I am so impressed with the product because the kids and teachers in charge did work very hard. Several of my students were in the orchestra and on the tech crews. One of my kiddos, who I didn’t even know was in the musical until the day before, was actually playing Nathan Detroit. And this kiddo could sort of sing, but I was still impressed because this was waaaaaaaaay out of his comfort zone. Another student, who I knew of but didn’t get to teach, was a natural. This kid played Nicely-Nicely Johnson, the character who sings the famous song “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat,” and the kiddo OWNED it. I was so impressed! One of my other students was one of the Hot Box girls, and the dancing was painfully lackluster, but again, knowing this student, performing like this was waaaaaaaaay out of her comfort zone, so I could honestly applaud her.


Sadly, I think the “success” of the performance just feeds the HoS’s ego and she is heedless of all the unnecessary stress a performance like this places on the staff and students actually responsible for making it happen. I’d be a lot more on board if we had staff and students who were passionate about this. Heck, a regular play would be easier on the kids. But that isn’t in the HoS’s VISION, so it won’t change unless it totally falls apart.


Anyway, I am super happy this year is over. I hope my time at home this summer isn’t so draining that I come back for the second (and LAST) year with nothing. I really wish there was another option besides “the only way out is through.”


Oh! Also! Now that I actually have some space to breathe, I realize I’ve been hitting my head against a wall for … a while now. I’ve given up so much energy to getting through that I’m actually at quite the deficit, so I dropped out of a SangCheng Minibang. Even though it has a long deadline, I just can’t get my head around it. I’m actually not getting much joy out of fandom these days, which REALLY sucks to realize. It’s like that time I tried a fad diet in high school. I choked down that grapefruit juice and bacon and egg but it was HORRIBLE. I feel like I’m just choking down fic and stuff because I want it to be good. Even the things I’ve read that are legit good! But they are starting to feel like grapefruit juice. Same with writing. It’s just joyless. So I really need to just stop so it can be a break, even if it might be a long break, because if I don’t, I’m worried it will become a permanent break from writing, which would really suck.


Brains (and Life) — why are you like this??

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