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Tumblr gutted me again! I made a new blog about a week ago, and it just imploded tonight, no reason given. I filled out another request to reinstate the blog. I wondered if it was fucking up because I use a VPN to access it, but I always use a VPN and have never had this trouble. First time in China, Belarus, Taiwan, even when I’m home in the US, I usually have a VPN on. I can’t think why it would happen now.


I’m actually close to tears as I type this because Tumblr was the ONE place I really loved to go on the internet. It’s where the fan artists and writers I truly love are. Most of them aren’t posting anywhere else, and one of my VERY favorites is doing a “Drawtober” challenge. They love MDZS and draw for a lot of fics that I haven’t read.


I feel foolish for being so upset, but I am upset! I’m angry, too, because there’s so much push to consume, consume, consume, and when I find something I actually want to consume and participate it, to have it taken away just sucks! No other social media or blog site worked as well for me as tumblr. I made some amazing friends there as well.


I just don’t know what else to say except this really hurts and I hate it.

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Last night, my Tumblr was terminated without warning or reason. I’ve filed a request for it to be fixed, but I haven’t heard back yet. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I just hope it is restored soon. I’ve had it for over 10 years! It’s my comfort social media/site. Fingers crossed that it’s fixed soon.
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So, it turns out that that little ol’ typhoon that barreled through yesterday was the strongest typhoon to hit Shanghai in like 75 years! My laundry room/balcony flooded because the seals on the windows are hot garbage. At first I tried to mop it all up with all my linens. Then I realized there’s a drain in the floor for the washer, so I moved the linens and the water flowed mostly into the drain and stopped pooling. Now the floor is dry, and I just have to figure out how to get water out of the inside tracks where the two sets of windows rest. I think I’ll just have to stuff towels in them to sop up the water.

I was going to go exploring today, but I think that given the potential damage downtown and given the nice little boost in humidity due to all the water, I think I’ll just stay home for the morning, get some lesson plans done, and maybe go out later tonight to buy some more towels.

All in all, I’m certainly grateful to have gotten through this little adventure, but please, whoever in the universe is listening, I could really do with a little less adventure!

你好!

Sep. 16th, 2024 09:03 am
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I was going to make a proper post, but things have been so busy! I’ve also had trouble getting a VPN to work at home, and I’m not doing personal stuff at work. We have today (Monday) and Tuesday off for the Mid Autumn Festival, but a typhoon is ruining my plans to go poke around downtown. It’s very annoying, which I am grateful for, don’t get me wrong —FB tells me that six years ago I was experiencing my first typhoon, Super Typhoon Mangkhut, and this is not as strong. Anyway, I’m going to knit and try not to watch too many videos about the election.
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On Friday, I had a bit of a rough day at work, with a host of things culminating in me bursting into tears in a team meeting. I was so embarassed, even though my colleagues were nothing but kind and understanding. (The job is good, it was just a lot of relatively minor things, coupled with some anxiety about the upcoming first day of school and some homesickness and other stuff. You know how it is.) Anyway, when I got home from work, I wanted something to lift my spirit. I saw that Nish Kumar, one of my favorite comedians, had a new special out. (It came out in back in March, and I had missed it.) That oughta cheer me up!

Lol NOPE!

It did, however, provide me with some catharsis and a lot of stuff to think about.

The thread of this show is about an incident back in 2019, when Kumar was heckled at a charity gig in London, and the horrible fallout from that, which culminated in racist abuse and death threats. You can read more about the incident here. One of the things Kumar addresses in his special is the PTSD he suffered as a result of the fallout.

One of the things Kumar talks about is how he didn't believe he had PTSD because he was fine! He wasn't dead. His career has generally flourished. He's got a long-term partner and a relationship he's happy with. Nothing really happened to him. So he can't have trauma!

Another spoiler alert -- he did experience trauma, and his unwillingness to deal/inability to recognize it/many many reasons why people don't think they need therapy/etc exacerbated the initial problems. In addition, his therapist told him, he has very likely been dealing with depression and anxiety since he was a teen. So yes, he really did need to get some things sorted. And he did. He's gone into therapy, he's making progress and healing. It's a nice end to the show.

It also really pinged some things for me.

I have really been resistant to the idea that I've experieced trauma. To me, trauma is what results from war or something really, really horrible. I haven't experienced anything horrible! I know that I have chronic anxiety and depression, and that I haven't been able to deal with it properly for the last six years or so. It started before the pandemic, but the pandemic definitely made things worse. (As it did for everyone, which makes it easy for me to discount its effect on me.) It really hit me -- I lost my home during the pandemic. I was really lucky to have my mom's place to go to, so I wasn't unhoused, but I did lose my home. I lost my home and a bunch of stuff, but since I wasn't unhoused, and since stuff is just stuff, I dismissed the pain. Then, I moved to a politically unstable country. When war broke out next door, I left my home again, not knowing if I'd be able to come back. But since I could come back, since my city wasn't bombed (unlike Kyiv, where my friends lived), and since I wasn't in danger of jail or enforced conscription, like some of my coworkers, then I equated getting through the difficult time with coming through unscathed. Then there was the abusive job. But since I chose to stay on, and since I had a lot of good times while I was there, then clearly, I didn't actually suffer any abuse.

I think you get the point.

Right now, I don't have the capacity to do anything substantive about it. But I really need to, soon. As soon as I pay down some credit cards and save some money. You know how it is. But thanks to a fucking comedy album, I don't think I'll ignore it any more.

So that's fun! Thank goodness classes start tomorrow, so I can at least focus on something else. And maybe I'll go back and listen to my favorite Eddie Izzard albums for some laughs.
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I finished reading Guardian a few days ago, and to be honest, it was a bit of a let down. Not because the series is over, but because the ending left me underwhelmed. It felt rushed. It was really plot heavy, and the SID crew split up in a way that left me with far too little time with each group. I didn't really get to feel the peril.

Of course, I couldn't help but compare the novel to the drama (I saw the drama first), and I did enjoy seeing the pieces that the drama crew took from the novel and put in the show. I also had a newfound appreciation for Ye Zun. Ghost Face in the novel did not have the same emotional impact as Ye Zun did for me (helped, no doubt, by Zhu Yilong's incredible acting).

Regardless, I am very grateful that I got to buy an official English translation in my little hands, and I'm really grateful for the many fan translators who laid the groundwork for its place in English-speaking/Western fandom. And I did like the extras, especially the cheeky little ChuGuo.
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Well hello. I have been in China for two weeks now, and things are settling down. Ish. It's fine. It's moving along. I want to Be Settled, but I also know that it will take time, and I'm grumpy about it. However, I finally got a mattress pad, so I'm hoping a solidly good night of sleep in my new apartment will help.

I joined a social group chat, and I have (tentatively, in my head) agreed to a meet up with the new cohort. However, they are planning dinner at a buffet, and I don't like buffets. Even before COVID, buffets made me anxious, and buffets in China are extra stressful, in my experience. Just lots more people and different social norms. So I think I'm going to skip the buffet. Thankfully I have an IKEA delivery I can use as an excuse. But I'll meet up for a few drinks after.

I did go on a little adventure with one new coworker yesterday. We went to get soup dumplings, aka xiaolongbao. Richard has been to Shanghai before, and I was happy to let him take the lead. He wanted to go to a Michelin-starred place, but first we went to a little restaurant that he remembered from his college days. We had xiaolongbao filled with yellow crab, which is apparently a Shanghai speciality. I didn't love them, which I assured Richard was fine. I'm happy to try new things. I really only won't eat spicy food and a few exotic meats (and probably insects, that's not come up yet). I don't seek new foods out myself. I'm a homebody with a love of routine and a basic palate. But if I have the chance to go out with someone and try new things, I'm happy to do it. The crab dumplings were fine! I wouldn't get them again for myself. But I enjoyed the experience, and I'm happy that Richard was happy to have them again. Then we tried the starred dumplings -- pork with mushrooms. I can't say that I could tell the difference in quality, but again, I enjoyed the experience. I don't think I like xiaolongbao over other types of dumplings. I'm not dextrous enough with chopsticks, so I tend to burn myself. Which, as I think about it now, is probably why my tongue feels weird. I thought I was just dehydrated (and I probably am, a bit, I've been sweating SO MUCH), but I think I also burned my tongue a bit.

We walked around the Nanjing Pedestrian Street to the Bund and snapped a few pics of the Shanghai skyline. Overall, I had a great time.

And... one of the things that filled my heart (and also made me a little sad) is that I'm pretty sure Richard is queer. If you're queer, you'll know what I mean, even though I don't have quite the words to express what I mean. We didn't talk about ourselves so overtly. We're still strangers to each other, and we're in a place where being openly queer (in a Western sense -- we're both Americans) isn't really safe. But when two queer people meet and haven't openly established that connection, your conversation still has all these markers, you know? Where you're carefully sussing the other person out. It fills my heart because yay! Someone I share a connection with! But also it makes me sad that we're doing that careful conversational dance. Anyway.

Today I had to go back into town (Songjiang is like 11 km from the center of Shanghai) for a visa appointment. It takes 1.5 hours on the metro, so I figured I'd make it worth the trip. The appointment took all of two minutes. The worker looked at me, looked at my passport, made me sign something, and sent me on my way. Awesome. (I mean, I'm glad there were no obvious issues.) After the appointment, I went to the Foreign Language Bookstore. It's nice! I only gave myself 30 minutes because I wanted to get the metro before rush hour, so I did a quick turn around the ground floor. There were shelves upon shelves of various editions of classic lit. So much Shakespeare! Shelves of Christie, Tolkien. Game of Thrones books and merch. A huge display of Harry Potter books and stuff (🤢🤮). One thing that always drives me crazy about English sections in non-English bookstores is that they are never really organized. They aren't in alphabetical order. Even if the clerks don't read English, surely they can match the letters? However, I read about how some Chinese authors' names were fucked up at the recent Worldcon, so instead, I'll just be grateful that there are even books available that I can just walk into the store and buy because white people are NOT making the same "basic" efforts for non-English authors. I have no room to complain when things aren't to my liking. I bought a copy of Brave New World by Aldous Huxley and The Book of Delights by Ross Gay (I'm not familiar with his work at all, but it looks like the sort of book I need in my life).

I'm looking forward to more explorations.
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Here is a synopsis from the publisher's website:




1426, Joseon, Korea. Hwani's family has never been the same since she and her younger sister went missing and were later found unconscious in the forest, near a gruesome crime scene. Years later, Detective Min - Hwani's father - learns that 13 girls have recently disappeared under similar circumstances, and so he returns to their hometown to investigate . . . only to vanish as well.

Determined to find her father, Hwani travels home to pick up the trail. As she digs into the secrets of the small village - and reconnects with her now-estranged sister - Hwani comes to realize that the answer lies within her own buried memories of what happened in the forest all those years ago.

Suspenseful and richly atmospheric, June Hur's The Forest of Stolen Girls is a haunting historical mystery sure to keep readers guessing.


I listened to the audiobook version of this, and I generally liked it. If I giving it a star rating, I'd give it 3 stars. The plot was really interesting. I was invested in the mystery and wated to know what happened to Hwani's father. As I listened, I found myself getting annoyed with Hwani. She is super impulsive and ... immature isn't quite the right word, especially given her relatively sheltered upbringing. Hwani says several times how her father or other men in her world said that she's smart and good at puzzles. However in the pursuit of her father's case, she ignores safety and established police protocol and plunges headlong into danger in ways that annoyed me.


I don't think this is a fault of the narrative, per se. I think if I'd read this as a teen (this is a YA novel), I wouldn't have been bothered. Regardless, I enjoyed the story overall. I enjoyed learning about the world through the narrative. In an afterword, Hur talks about the historical research that inspired this story. I have another of her novels, A Crane Among Wolves, on my Kindle, so I'll probably read it.
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Here is a synopsis from Goodreads:




From award-winning author R. F. Kuang comes Babel, a historical fantasy epic that grapples with student revolutions, colonial resistance, and the use of language and translation as the dominating tool of the British Empire.

Traduttore, traditore: An act of translation is always an act of betrayal.

1828. Robin Swift, orphaned by cholera in Canton, is brought to London by the mysterious Professor Lovell. There, he trains for years in Latin, Ancient Greek, and Chinese, all in preparation for the day he’ll enroll in Oxford University’s prestigious Royal Institute of Translation—also known as Babel. The tower and its students are the world's center for translation and, more importantly, magic. Silver-working—the art of manifesting the meaning lost in translation using enchanted silver bars—has made the British unparalleled in power, as the arcane craft serves the Empire's quest for colonization.

For Robin, Oxford is a utopia dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge. But knowledge obeys power, and as a Chinese boy raised in Britain, Robin realizes serving Babel means betraying his motherland. As his studies progress, Robin finds himself caught between Babel and the shadowy Hermes Society, an organization dedicated to stopping imperial expansion. When Britain pursues an unjust war with China over silver and opium, Robin must decide . . .

Can powerful institutions be changed from within, or does revolution always require violence?


Boy howdy, is this book a doozy! It pulls no punches as it lays out the violence inherent in colonialism and the way that capitalism both fuels it and consumes itself and those that are colonized. It also lays out the ways in which class solidarity can challenge the systems of power.

I've only read this book and Yellowface, and oof, Kuang's stories are NOT comfortable reading, but both have been well worth reading. Babel in particular wormed into my brain because I'm in China now, as an English teacher, a job which is a direct result of the violence perptrated in the 19th century by English colonizers and corporations. I'm in a school that is a Chinese-British school. Obviously we can't go back to the separation of cultures and countries. Reading books like Babel makes me think about how I should act in these situations.

But really, this book is incredible and worth reading.

Edit to add: I realize my post about this is very thin, but trust me -- this book is going to sit with me for a long, long time.

Hello!

Aug. 6th, 2024 07:13 pm
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I'm in Shanghai! I'll try to post properly once things get settled. I've put a deposit down on an apartment and will sign the lease Monday (due to banking shenanigans and then the landlord having a thing), which is good because I'm checking out of my hotel on Monday. I'm in a weird limbo of stressed and not stressed because there are some things I have to do that I can't yet, things I want to do but can't (because money mostly), and it's also HOT as Fuck right now. Like highs of 100+/feels like 120 with humidity. I've mostly been taking little jaunts to Starbucks and then watching the Olympics in my air-conditioned hotel room.

I did finish two books. Mom and I listed to The Body in the Library by Agatha Christie on the drive to the airport (she listened to the rest of it, then I finished it after she returned it to Libby). I had seen a TV adaptation of it but didn't remember the twist. The murder is actually quite a downer. I mean, murder SHOULD be a downer, but this one was just sad, and contrasted with one of the character's determination to "enjoy" the murder/excitement, I am sure that's kind of the point. Murder isn't exciting. People have died, someone has killed them, it's extremely a bummer!

I also finished volume 3 of Sha Po Lang/Stars of Chaos, and I am LIVING for it. I mentioned on bsky that I liked the world building, and I do, but I think what I like more is the intricacy of the political intrigue. I couldn't keep that sort of thing straight in my head as a write, so I admire Priest's skill. I also get kind of a kick out of Gu Yun and his reaction to Chang Geng's affections and advances. Chang Geng is a kinky little shit, and Gu Yun does not get it, but he's discovered he loves Chang Geng back, so he kind of goes with it. I'm with Gu Yun on this. I was thrilled that they finally hooked up, but truly, I am more interested in seeing how the Empire fares (and how CG/GY and their friends get through it all. I've got about a month til volume 4 comes out, and only a week or so til Guardian vol 3 wraps up. Plus a million other things to read.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi. I hope you are all doing well.
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My time at home is wrapping up. This time next week, I'll be in Shanghai! I've been having tons of anxiety dreams about packing and moving, natch. Last night's was a doozy because it featured Clown School as well as packing and moving and cleaning.

I feel like I'm sort of getting better at moving and knowing what I absolutely need to bring with me. Clothes are the most important because finding clothes for fat girls is just impossible. It's increasingly difficult to find these in the US, despite all the stereotypes of how fat Americans are, but at least I can get things mailed here with relative ease. Shoes, too. I have much larger feet than the average Chinese woman. There are also certain medications and products I need to bring with me, and I need to have at least a year's supply. My new school is a combination local/international school, so we won't have a Christmas break. They will have a long break for lunar new year. I've not yet decided if I'll go home this year for that. I really need to rebuild my finances, so we'll see. It is hard to stay away as my niblings get older.

This summer was less fraught than I anticipated. There were some Moments with my mom and brother, centering on religion of course. My brother is more ... fanatical. He's definitely got some of those Out There Catholic Beliefs. I just have to not talk to him more than a few words here and there about non-important things. I tried to explain to my mom how hurtful her insistence on bringing Catholicism into everything was, especially on my youngest brother. My aunt got involved in one conversation, and it didn't go super great. I'm going to have to insist on boundaries for myself. My youngest brother is torn because my mom helps so much with the kids, and he feels like he can't jeopardize that even though he also feels like she's taking advantage of his desperation to push religion on his kids. She is, to a degree. I mentioned this, but otherwise, that is something he needs to deal with himself.

After a particularly rough convo with Middle Brother, I just walked away and really stopped talking. Now, what has helped most is that he works a swing shift at his job and is basically asleep the rest of the time he's home, so we don't have much contact with one another. No to low contact works for us. As for Youngest Brother, we had some arguments as well, which weren't particularly productive as he's too in his own head to really be receptive. He thinks I'm being a bad sister in a way because I'm not supporting him enough. He got mad that I never asked him about how he was doing, and because he was getting very shouty, I didn't get the chance to say, "Brother, when do you ever talk to me about my life? When do you ever text me first, even just a silly meme? Fully fifty percent of the messages I send you go unanswered and unacknowledged. Relationships go both ways." And like, I understand that he's having a rough time. But he's been having a rough time for years. He's depressed and I understand that. I've been there (and he wasn't around for that, or interested in helping me, but I'm not really mad about that because it's over). I'm supportive of him, helping with his kids. But I'm also not his journal. And I feel bad that he doesn't have a lot of supportive people in his life who he can vent to, but also, I can't just be someone who he dumps all his trauma and problems on and then doesn't reciprocate, even a tiny bit. And it isn't necessarily fair, but I'm not expecting totally equal and balanced actions. And I also remember how hard it is to not be an emotional vampire when you are deep in your problems. I was very lucky that I had a support circle. I still lost some friends and long relationships. Anyway. I get a lot of guilt because we're siblings and I'm told that still means something more than other relationships like friends. Which is ridiculous. It's also why I live on a separate continent.

Still, it's been less fraught a summer than anticipated, and I'm grateful. We're having a Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday because I haven't had one in six years. I'll probably end up at the kids' table with the niblings because I'm my niece's favorite, and yes, I'm very smug about it.

And then -- new adventures!
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Library Graphic Novel Round-Up

My local public library is part of a consortium of Southern Idaho libraries, which means that I can check out books with my home library card from any of the consortium libraries, and if I’m not in, say, Boise, I can simply put a hold on the book and it will be sent to my home library. It’s interlibrary loans without the special paperwork. I love how easy it is for me as a patron, and I also love that I can get books from libraries with more … progressive collections. (No shade to my hometown library, but we’re in a very conservative area, as well as having a smaller library, so sometimes queer books are hard to find just on the shelves.)

Here’s a round-up of the books I got from the library in the last few weeks.

Pardalita by Joana Estrela, translated by Lyn Miller-Lachmann:




16-year-old Raquel lives in a small town in Portugal, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone else’s business. Her parents are divorced and she’s just been suspended for cursing out a school aide asking about her father’s new marriage. She has two best friends, Luísa and Fred, but wants something more. Then, from afar, she sees Pardalita, a senior and a gifted artist who’s moving to Lisbon to study in the fall. The two girls get to know each other while working on a play. And Raquel falls in love.


Using a gorgeous blend of prose poems, illustrations, and graphic novel format, author and artist Joana Estrela captures the feeling of being a teenager in a way that feels gentle, joyful, and real.


This brief story dips into Raquel’s life during one year in high school. The story is sweet and very light. There’s minimal angst, and it has a hopeful ending.


Brooms by Jasmine Walls and Teo DuVall:




It’s 1930s Mississippi. Magic is permitted only in certain circumstances, and by certain people. Unsanctioned broom racing is banned. But for those who need the money, or the thrills...it's there to be found.


Meet Billie Mae, captain of the Night Storms racing team, and Loretta, her best friend and second-in-command. They’re determined to make enough money to move out west to a state that allows Black folks to legally use magic and take part in national races.


Cheng-Kwan – doing her best to handle the delicate and dangerous double act of being the perfect “son” to her parents, and being true to herself while racing.


Mattie and Emma – Choctaw and Black – the youngest of the group and trying to dodge government officials who want to send them and their newly-surfaced powers away to boarding school.


And Luella, in love with Billie Mae. Her powers were sealed away years ago after she fought back against the government. She’ll do anything to prevent the same fate for her cousins.


Brooms is a queer, witchy Fast and the Furious that shines light on history not often told – it’s everything you’d ever want to read in a graphic novel.



This book was fun and super queer! The full color illustrations were lovely and interesting. Despite the dangers the characters face, ultimately they escape the worst possible outcomes. IIRC, the authors wanted to portray period-realistic racism and issues to honor the real struggles queer and non-white people faced in the US in the 1930’s but also write a fun story with magic! I enjoyed dipping into this world.


49 Days by Agnes Lee:




Day 1


Gotta get up. Gotta keep moving. This map – it says I have to cross over here. Wait, what’s that…?


And so begins a graphic novel story unlike any other: 49 Days. In Buddhist tradition, a person must travel for forty-nine days after they die, before they can fully cross over. Here in this book, readers travel with one Korean American girl, Kit, on her journey, while also spending time with her family and friends left behind.


Agnes Lee has captivated readers across the world for years with her illustrations for the New York Times Metropolitan Diary. Her debut graphic novel is an unforgettable story of death, grief, love, and how we keep moving forward.



This book made me cry in a Starbucks. Very lovely and moving.


The Boy From Clearwater, Books 1 and 2 by Yu Pei-Yun, illustrated by Zhou Jian-Xin, translated by Lin King:




Book 1

Taiwan, 1930s.


Tsai Kun-lin, an ordinary boy, was born in Qingshui. He grew up happily sneaking into the sugar cane fields reciting nursery rhymes he couldn’t understand, despite Japanese occupation looming over him. As war emerges, Tsai’s memories shift to military parades, air raids, and watching others face conscription into the army. After the war comes a new era under the rule of the Chinese National Party, and the book-loving teenager tries hard to learn Mandarin and be a good son. He believes he is finally stepping towards a comfortable future, but little does he know, a dark cloud awaits him ahead.


Taiwan, 1950s.


In his second year at Taichung First Senior High School, Tsai had attended a book club hosted by his teacher. This comes back to haunt him when he is consequently arrested on a charge of taking part in an “illegal” assembly. After being tortured into a false confession, he is sentenced to ten years in prison and eventually sent to Green Island for “reformation.” Lasting until his release in September 1960, Tsai, a victim of the White Terror era, spent ten years of his youth in prison, experiencing unspeakable horrors as well as unimaginable kindnesses. But he is now ready to embrace freedom.


For fans of Persepolis and March comes an incredible true story that lays bare the tortured and triumphant history of Taiwan, an island claimed and fought over by many countries, through the life story of a man who lived through its most turbulent times.

Book 2

After his imprisonment in Green Island, Kun-lin struggles to pick up where he left off ten years earlier. He reconnects with his childhood crush Kimiko and finds work as an editor, jumping from publisher to publisher until finally settling at an advertising company. But when manhua publishing becomes victim to censorship, and many of his friends lose their jobs, Kun-lin takes matters into his own hands. He starts a children’s magazine, Prince, for a group of unemployed artists and his old inmates who cannot find work anywhere else. Kun-lin’s life finally seems to be looking up... but how long will this last?


Forty years later, Kun-lin serves as a volunteer at the White Terror Memorial Park, promoting human rights education. There, he meets Yu Pei-Yun, a young college professor who provides him with an opportunity to reminisce on his past and how he picked himself up after grappling with bankruptcy and depression. With the end of martial law, Kun-lin and other former New-Lifers felt compelled to mobilize to rehabilitate fellow White Terror victims, forcing him to face his past head-on. While navigating his changing homeland, he must conciliate all parts of himself – the victim and the savior, the patriot and the rebel, a father to the future generation and a son to the old Taiwan – before he can bury the ghosts of his past.




These books were my favorite from the bunch. They are a biography of Tsai Kun-lin, a survivor of the White Terror period in Taiwan. I’m somewhat ashamed to say that despite living in Taiwan for two years, I still don’t know much about this period of Taiwan’s history. In all my trips to Taipei, I never visited the White Terror Memorial Park. I did go to the 228 Peace Memorial Park quite often, but mostly I went because it was a nice park.

I think these books should be required reading in Taiwanese schools. I wish I’d had them for my classroom. They don’t look away from the horrors that Tsai experienced, but they are depicted with a relatively light touch, appropriate for younger audiences. I knew that these horrible things happened in very recent history -- martial law only ended in 1987 -- my lifetime, and the lifetimes of the parents and grandparents of my students! I’m amazed at how progressive Taiwan has been able to become in less than 40 years, despite almost no official international support or recognition. Like all countries, it has room to improve, but seeing where Taiwan came from, through Tsai’s life, I’m astonished by the changes brought about in the country, and I hope, for the sake of all who live there now and for the sacrifices so many made in the last century, that Taiwan can avoid a wrench to the right and to authoritarianism that so many countries have taken.
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Here is a synopsis from the publisher's website:




What’s the one dish you’d do anything to taste just one more time?


Down a quiet backstreet in Kyoto exists a very special restaurant. Run by Koishi Kamogawa and her father Nagare, the Kamogawa Diner serves up deliciously extravagant meals. But that’s not the main reason customers stop by . . .


The father-daughter duo are ‘food detectives’. Through ingenious investigations, they are able to recreate dishes from a person’s treasured memories – dishes that may well hold the keys to their forgotten past and future happiness. The restaurant of lost recipes provides a link to vanished moments, creating a present full of possibility.



I picked this up after reading [personal profile] forestofglory's brief write up. I've been in the mood for cozy, and this is definitely a cozy book. Now, even though I read the synopsis before I got the book, I somehow got it into my head that this was about a father-daughter restaurant duo who solves real crimes on the side. It is not that. A person comes to the diner run by Koishi and Nagare Kamogawa, describes a meal they wish to recreate, and the Kamogawas do their best to make it happen.

This book is very slender, only 207 pages long, with six short chapters focusing on various customers (I think -- I don't have the book with me right now).

While I'm glad I read this book, I don't think I'll read the sequel, which is due out in October. I think this style of book just isn't for me. It's been compared to the book Before the Coffee Gets Cold, which I tried to read a few years ago and gave up on, and I think the comparison is apt. While I did like the descriptions of the meals, which sent me to look up all the dishes because I had no idea what most of the dishes or ingredients were, in general, this book left me feeling ironically empty. I like the slice-of-life style but I want to spend a little more time with characters and see the larger world a bit more. The details we do get are akin to high quality ingredients in a sample platter of a book. I did find it annoying that the premise is repeated at the beginning of every chapter. It makes sense for the characters, but because the book is so small, it gets repetitive for the reader.

Ultimately, I think this just reinforces that this type of fiction is Not For Me. I thought it was well written, and I found the translation to be pretty smooth, so if you like a little candy box of a book, then I think you will like this book. I'll go back to my Defend the Realm fantasy. 😁
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After I got the synopsis for Sheine Lende from the publisher's website, I scrolled through to see what other books they have. The publisher, Levine Querido, is an independent publisher of children's and YA books that was founding in 2019. In an interview at the World Kid Lit blog, editor Nick Thomas says the goals for LQ are to publish books by underrepresented voices and books in translation. They have lots of LGBTQ books, but they also have books by indigenous American authors, such as Darcie Little Badger. They also published When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb, which is one of the best books I read last year, and indeed, in a long time. I saw that they are publishing Lamb's next book in October, so I gotta pre-order that!

Anyway, I hopped on my library website to see if they had some other LQ books. My hometown library didn't have many on the shelf, but we're part of a larger network in Southern Idaho which shares books, so I simply placed holds on a bunch of books which will soon be shipped to me! Well, to my hometown library.

Holds




  • The Boy From Clearwater, vol 1/2 by You Peiyun (graphic novels about a boy growing up in Taiwan in the 1930's-1940's)

  • 49 Days by Agnes Lee (a graphic novel about a Korean American girl who must travel for 49 days after her death until she can cross over)

  • Brooms by Jasmine Walls (graphic novel set in a 1930's Mississippi where magic is controlled and only allowed to be used by certain people)

  • The Queer Girl is Going to be Okay by Dale Walls (contemporary YA fiction)

  • Pardalita by Joana Estrela, translated by Lyn Miller-Lachmann (contemporary YA fiction set in Portugal)

  • Alebrijes by Donna Barba Higuera (middle grade speculative fiction)



I also bought The Days of Bluegrass Love by Edward van de Vendel (translated by Emma Rault), a book originally published in the Netherlands in 1999. It was on sale for $1.99 on Kindle, so I decided to snap it up.

I'm really looking forward to zipping through these books in my last month at home. Hopefully, they will keep me from being too anxious about packing and moving. 😬
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Here is a synopsis from the publisher's website:




Shane works with her mother and their ghost dogs, tracking down missing persons even when their families can’t afford to pay. Their own family was displaced from their traditional home years ago following a devastating flood – and the loss of Shane’s father and her grandparents. They don’t think they’ll ever get their home back.

Then Shane’s mother and a local boy go missing, after a strange interaction with a fairy ring. Shane, her brother, her friends, and her lone, surviving grandparent – who isn’t to be trusted – set off on the road to find them. But they may not be anywhere in this world – or this place in time.

Nevertheless, Shane is going to find them.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel and gulped it down in two days. It's a prequel to Little Badger's first novel Elatsoe. Little Badger's works are built on Lipan Apache history and knowledge and set in a world where magic is real, including the European-style fairy magic, which drives part of the plot of this novel. However, the real focus is Lipan magic and the world Below and dealing with ghosts and monsters.

Little Badger is fast becoming one of those authors who I want to follow and read all their works -- with the possible exception of spooky stories. Despite having ghosts, neither Elatsoe nor Sheine Lende are particularly spooky, although she said on Bluesky (I think, it's been awhile) that she's working on a middle grade horror novel. I think that's super. I think middle grade and YA readers need horror in their level. Alas, I an a TOTAL wimp and still have nightmares about ghost stories I read in elementary school. I did like Little Badger's short story Those Hitchhiking Kids, which is a ghost story and a little spooky (to me), but it's mostly bittersweet.

Anyway, I highly recommend Little Badger's novels. Sheine Lende is a technically a prequel to Elatsoe, but I'd read it second so you get acquainted with the world she's built. Her novel A Snake Falls to Earth is also an amazing book. It's a standalone novel but it's steeped in the Lipan storytelling world as well.
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Here is a synopsis from the author's website:




It is the eve of Earth’s environmental collapse. A single ship carries humanity’s last hope: eighty elite graduates of a competitive program, who will give birth to a generation of children in deep space. But halfway to a distant but livable planet, a lethal bomb kills three of the crew and knocks The Phoenix off course. Asuka, the only surviving witness, is an immediate suspect.



Asuka already felt like an impostor before the explosion. She was the last picked for the mission, she struggled during training back on Earth, and she was chosen to represent Japan, a country she only partly knows as a half-Japanese girl raised in America. But estranged from her mother back home, The Phoenix is all she has left.



With the crew turning on each other, Asuka is determined to find the culprit before they all lose faith in the mission—or worse, the bomber strikes again.



It probably wasn't the best idea to read this book as I prepare for another move, or as the world is Like This because this book made me so anxious! Not just because I was caught up in the mystery and wondering if the crew of the Phoenix would survive, but because the "dystopian" aspects really aren't that fictional -- environmental collapse? China-US war? 😬


Still, the book was well written. From a craft perspective, I admired how Kitasei fleshed out technical sci-fi aspects. She carefully does not give any dates or really specific numbers that would pull a reader out of the story. I've seen a Tumblr post a few times that includes this writing tip, that if you include specific things like dates or other real-world numbers, it will break that suspension of disbelief. As a person who doesn't read (or usually love) this sort of "hard" sci-fi/space story, I appreciated that there was enough technical details to get me grounded in the world, but the focus was on the characters.


While I'm glad that I read this book, I don't necessarily recommend it because I know who reads this blog -- y'all are way to anxious about the world in general, and this will only add to your fears. And those anxieties are totally justified, both for us and within the story! Kudos to Kitasei for really nailing the vibe because I definitely think the anxiety is crucial to the story. And without spoiling things, I felt that the story ended on something of a hopeful note for a story about a group of people who are on a one-way ticket away from home. If this sort of story is your jam, then I felt it was well-written and interesting, and I'd be happy to hear what you think about it. You can read the first two chapters here. For myself, I'm going to read a cozy mystery next!

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Here is a synopsis from the publisher's website:




Some people think foxes are similar to ghosts because we go around collecting qi, but nothing could be further than the truth. We are living creatures, just like you, only usually better looking . . .



Manchuria, 1908.
In the last years of the dying Qing Empire, a courtesan is found frozen in a doorway. Her death is clouded by rumors of foxes, which are believed to lure people by transforming themselves into beautiful women and handsome men. Bao, a detective with an uncanny ability to sniff out the truth, is hired to uncover the dead woman’s identity. Since childhood, Bao has been intrigued by the fox gods, yet they’ve remained tantalizingly out of reach—until, perhaps, now.



Meanwhile, a family who owns a famous Chinese medicine shop can cure ailments but can’t escape the curse that afflicts them—their eldest sons die before their twenty-fourth birthdays. When a disruptively winsome servant named Snow enters their household, the family’s luck seems to change—or does it?



Snow is a creature of many secrets, but most of all she’s a mother seeking vengeance for her lost child. Hunting a murderer, she will follow the trail from northern China to Japan, while Bao follows doggedly behind. Navigating the myths and misconceptions of fox spirits, both Snow and Bao will encounter old friends and new foes, even as more deaths occur.



I liked this book a lot. I even stayed up til 1:30 AM to finish it, which surprised me a bit. I'd read Choo's first novel, The Ghose Bride, a couple of years ago and had a hard time getting into it due to Choo's writing style. There wasn't anything wrong with it, just elements that bugged me a bit. However, I stuck with it because the premise was interesting. I'm glad I decided to give this book a try because not only was the story very compelling but the stylistic elements that bugged me with the first novel have largely cleared up as Choo writes more fiction.


The brisk pacing also helped. The chapters alternate between Bao and Snow's POV, and they're very short, so you move along quickly. Each night I told myself that I'd just read one more chapter, and then an hour later, I'd have read ten.

The connections between the two narratives become clear very early in the book, and at first, I thought I'd be bored, but actually, it helped me to become more invested in the characters as I knew what was at stake. However, despite being a story ostensibly about murders, it's a relatively light novel. Partially this is another result of the brief chapter lengths -- you don't have enough time to linger with the mystery and the primary antagonist. If this story were in the hands of another novelist, such as Shelley Parker-Chan, it would have been much more devastating. Chan's knack for ramping up the gut punches in a tragedy while still being somewhat spare with the details would have made this book a heavy thing. Given what happens in the plot, I'm not sure if Choo's light touch is wholly appropriate, but reading it during this time in my life, I appreciate the lightness. If this book were turned into a drama series, it would be a very pretty drama. I'd cast someone like Meng Ziyi, who played Wen Qing in The Untamed, to play Snow.

Anyway, I enjoyed this book and will probably give Choo's other novel The Night Tiger a go at some point.
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Here is a synopsis from the publisher's website:




“Mothers fly away like migrating birds. This is why farmers have daughters.”



A fifteen-year-old teenager is the backbone of her small Midwestern family, budgeting the household finances and raising her younger brother while her mom, a talented artist, weaves beautiful tapestries. For six years, it’s been just the three of them—her mom has brought home guests at times, but none have ever stayed.



Yet when her mom brings home a six-foot tall crane with a menacing air, the girl is powerless to prevent her mom letting the intruder into her heart, and her children’s lives. Utterly enchanted and numb to his sharp edges, her mom abandons the world around her to weave the masterpiece the crane demands.



In this stunning contemporary retelling of “The Crane Wife” by the Newbery Medal-winning author of The Girl Who Drank the Moon, one fiercely pragmatic teen forced to grow up faster than was fair will do whatever it takes to protect her family—and change the story.



This little novella definitely packs a punch. I knew Barnhill as a Newbery-award winning author of The Girl Who Drank the Moon, but this book was shelved in the adult fiction section of my public library, and despite the teenage protagonist, it definitely feels more like an adult novel. It wasn't clear to me in the beginning that the narrator, who isn't named in the story, is telling the story twenty years after the actual events of the plot, but the nameless narrator and the fairy tale elements give this story a timeless quality. I sat down at a Starbucks and polished the whole thing off in an hour and a half. I heartily recommend taking the time to read this. It's a little heartbreaking, but it's well worth the time.

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If you bet on the end of my time at Clown School having a smooth ending, you'd have bet incorrectly. Well, to be fair, it was pretty smooth for me. Classes ended the Friday before the last week of the month (and my contract), but we still had to come to work for the last week in order to be paid and not be in breach of contract. It was so boring. I had about half a day of work I could do on Monday, finalizing grades and such, but then I was done and just had to sit there. For four and a half days. On Wednesday, one of my fellow performers and I had a reading and snack party. We brought snacks (to be fair, she brought the most since she brought a lot of cut-up fruit and made hummus and brought chips and salsa, and I brought cheese and crackers) and sat on the sofas in the staff room and read all day. But we made it to Friday and I got the last signature needed on my checkout form at like 4:09 PM (check-out time was 4:10 PM).

I could have flown home the next day, but I didn't trust the ringleader not to fuck with my last check, so I waited until the day after payday to come home. The checks were deposited just before noon -- they have to do everything manually, and it's so distressing. Well, I'm not sure if they have to do the payroll deposits manually -- as in, our HR lady goes to the bank in person -- because it's a Taiwan thing or because it's a Clown School thing. I'm betting on the latter since they seem to go out of their way to do everything in the most convoluted manner possible. This is nerve-wracking because I HAD to transfer my funds to my US bank account because I can't withdraw any cash when I'm in the US. I can only use my card for purchases, but I need cash for my move in August, and Taiwanese banks close to the public at 3 PM. I am SO glad my next school has a setup to automatically split my salary between my local and home accounts. ANYWAY, I dropped off my scooter at school because one of my coworkers was going to buy it from me, and he told me that he would not be returning to the school in the fall. He is teaching a summer school class, but that's it, and good for him! They strung him along for MONTHS. The ringleader told him to his face that they would offer him a contract even though they thought he was a terrible teacher and they were actively looking for a better teacher. Turns out they couldn't find another teacher (mayhaps because the Circus has gained a Reputation?) and so during the last week of our current contract, they offered him another. They tried to sweet-talk him and offer him a bit of a pay raise (which is NOT part of the regular contract renewal), and ultimately he turned them down. He got a job at another school, which he did NOT tell the current circus since the ringleader has a bad habit of torpedoing staff who leave. She literally will call the new school to badmouth staff. It happened to my two friends who left in May last year. They had another job lined up, explained that they were leaving the circus due to constant harassment from the ringleader and STILL she managed to tank their jobs.

So for those keeping score at home, at the end of this year, 12 full-time teachers are set to return and 16 left. There are more part-time teachers in the mix, but some are local teachers that I never really saw. But ONE of those 16 was a surprise! Yesterday, the head of the art department texted me to say goodbye since I was leaving Taiwan that morning, and he told me that he had quit! I knew he wanted to quit because he'd been harassed mercilessly by the admin staff, including the ringleader and the AP, who was the bane of my existence last year. He had one year left on his contract and was actively looking for new work but hoped to be able to just finish. He was also teaching a summer school class. However, on Wednesday, something snapped. He got his paycheck and then after work, he just went to the airport and left. I don't know if he packed anything or abandoned his apartment as well, but he sent his resignation email from the airport.

The ringleader reacted in her predictably unhinged way. He sent me a copy of the email. In it, she threatened to use information they had on his family to track him down. They had "tried" to help him get visas for his family to join him but were unsuccessful which is why they have the information. Our contracts do have a penalty clause that says we have to pay a fee equivalent to two months' salary if we break our contract. It's almost certainly illegal, but since we sign it and since foreign workers are particularly vulnerable to this sort of thing since we can't stay and fight if we lose our residence permits, she's gotten away with having it in the contracts. However, the ringleader went further to say she would be contacting Korean police for help finding him. This is particularly unhinged since the teacher is NOT Korean, nor is his family, nor does he have any reason to go to Korea. The teacher told me he just laughed at that part. It's utterly insane.

So, that's the end of the Clown School Saga ... for now. I still have friends working there ... for now ... and they said they'd keep me up on the drama. I filled out my "exit interview" paper, which I'm sure no one will read, burned bridges with admin, and hope they all get exactly what they deserve.
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Here is a synopsis from the author's website:




Ghosts, a kidnapping, a crew of young detectives, and family secrets mix in this new standalone mystery set in the world of the bestselling Greenglass House, from a National Book Award nominee and Edgar Award-winning author.


Marzana and her best friend are bored. Even though they live in a notorious city where normal rules do not apply, nothing interesting ever happens to them. Nothing, that is, until Marzana’s parents are recruited to help solve an odd crime, and she realizes that this could be the excitement she’s been waiting for. She assembles a group of kid detectives with special skills—including the ghost of a ship captain’s daughter—and together, they explore hidden passageways, navigate architecture that changes overnight, and try to unravel the puzzle of who the kidnappers are—and where they’re hiding. But will they beat the deadline for a ransom that’s impossible to pay?



Legendary smugglers, suspicious teachers, and some scary bad guys are just a few of the adults the crew must circumvent while discovering hidden truths about their families and themselves in this smart, richly imagined tale.



Okay, first, if you haven't read Greenglass House, you're gonna want to take a break and read it immediately. It's one of the best books I've read. I picked it up at the Scholastic Book Fair at my last US school after a student told me it was one of her favorites, and I devoured it in like three hours. The world of Greenglass House is probably my ideal fiction world: a coastal town (non-specific North Atlantic in this case, although I would also accept Cornwall) with intrigue, old buildings, smugglers, adventure, etc. While I don't think I could participate in any dubiously legal shenanigans myself, I would love to own a cafe or bookstore in such a town. I would absolutely have a hidden room or passage behind a bookcase.


Anyway, I don't want to give away any of the plot twists because the books in the series are mysteries. But I will say that the world-building is exquisite. I cannot overstate how much I love the vibes of this book. I'm a little sad it took me so long to get into the headspace to read it (I've had it since it came out), but this week I've had literally no work to do but have been required to come in to finish my contract, so yesterday, my friend and coworker Taty and I had a reading party -- we brought snacks and read for the whole day.

This book is technically the fourth book in the series, but it is also a standalone mystery. The references to the previous books deepen the flavor, but it's been six years since I read the first book, so I didn't remember a lot of the things that happened, and I didn't feel like I missed anything important while reading this book. If you pick up the series, you should definitely read Greenglass House and then Ghosts of Greenglass House first and second because Ghosts builds on the first book. Bluecrowne and The Left-Handed Fate are sort of prequels as they are set in the 1800's, I think.

Anyway, these books are absolutely delightful and you should read them.

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